Have you ever felt that whenever you take a step forward towards the right direction, you tend to fall pretty hard flat on your face not too long after? Well, join the club. Today is my day.
Fate is a funny thing. For some time now, I thought fate was on my side. But today I don't feel that's the case anymore. Everything that has happened till today had me thinking, "great, it's working my way." Everything seemed perfect. The timing looked right, the circumstances was right on cue, the people were there. Things looked to work like clockworks. And then I realised, it's too good to be true.
You ever hit a brick wall before? At the moment of impact, you don't really feel a thing. It's the moment after you realised that you have hit it that hurts. The signal needs to travel to your brain first. After it processes the signal, you brain realised that you've hit a wall and it's then that you feel the pain. At the end of the day, you cry out in pain, and the brick wall turns into rumbles. At least that's a good thing, you won't need to see that stupid wall again if you can get back up.
Today, fate put up a bloody good wall for me to hit. Well, a smaller wall was setup over the weekend. So I sort of know what's going to happen today. It didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. For one thing, I have had hit a similar wall many years ago, and I knew how that felt. This just isn't the same feeling, maybe it's because I didn't have that initial feeling to start with, or maybe I grew up.
There is a Chinese saying that goes, "天時地利人和", meaning the right time at the right place with the right people. I reckon I did pretty darn good on the first two. It's the last one that jacked me up, not the people who tried to move things along, but the main character who felt otherwise.
My life is not a mess (not by a long shot), but it might as well be a TV drama. I reckon I would do pretty good as a writer, drawing from real life experience. Is it just my fate, or is it that everyone I meet is like that? I don't know. It's not the best of days, and I have a feeling it's going to get a whole lot worse.
The foundation that has been set over the last couple of months is not going to to hold. It is just going to crumble away, I know it's going to happen. There's is nothing I can do about it. And then, I'm left with nothing more than a square.
A square called Square One.
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